The Retirement Blues
The Retirement Blues
We had a conversation with a couple last week, Pat & Anne.
Anne was ready to retiree, she had the next few years mapped out, going on a European holiday with the girls, looking after the grandchildren one day a week, and volunteering to support others and feel valued.
However, Pat on the other hand, had a few reservations.
As the conversations, progressed, from … I am concerned we will run out of money…
To… who will care and look after my clients…
To what Pat was actually nervous about… He feels value at the moment in his role, he is needed by a plethora of people who depend on him, he has a sense of purpose, he understand what he is trying to achieve each day and why.
If he was to retire, who is he. Pat asked “what is my purpose in life? I am scared I won’t be valued!”
Newly retirees face a number of challenges.
We see this many happens in a higher proportion of our male clients, where they look forward to retiring but then become anxious and depressed when the time comes.
Many of us spend years picturing our ideal retirement—whether it’s traveling the world, spending more time with family and friends, pursuing hobbies such as painting, gardening, cooking, playing golf, or fishing, or simply enjoying the freedom to relax and take it easy for a change. But while we tend to give lots of thought to planning for the financial aspects of retirement, we often overlook the psychological impact of retiring from work.
Initially, escaping the daily grind and a long commute, workplace politics, or a difficult boss, for example, can seem like a great relief. However, many new retirees find that after a few months the novelty of being on “permanent vacation” starts to wear off. You may miss the sense of identity, meaning, and purpose that came with your job, the structure it gave your days, or the social aspect of having co-workers.
Part of the problem stems from dashed expectations. Perhaps you thought you would have more money by the time you reached this point, or you feel daunted by how, even though you may have worked hard to pay off your mortgage, there are still so many places that your money goes each month. Or maybe you just feel lost without a schedule.
We find creating a new routine after leaving work is a big factor for many who are planning their retirement.
A recent Harvard study revealed. as you move from a lot of structure to almost no structure, men can exhibit the same signs as someone who is overworked.
Retirement can also come with change’s in your relationship with your partner.
We see this all too often, if you have a partner at home who is not used to you being around all the time, there has to be a recalibration.
Partners in retirement may need time to adjust to the new situation, couples have to in a sense, learn how to enjoy having lunch together.
Some of our clients have even said it feels like they are dating again and have to get to know their partner.
As for many years, they focused on raising their kids, repaying their mortgage, saving for retirement, and never really stopped and spent time to focus on their relationship with their partner.
To many that haven’t been through the transition into retirement it may sound or feel like a weird concept, however for many newly retirees it is reality.
In retirement, you expect to have more time - but to do what?
Doing either too little or too much can lead to the same symptoms, such as anxiety, depression, appetite loss, memory impairment and insomnia.
The solution can be just about anything - from volunteering once a week, like Anne, to taking a class - Tai Chi, Yoga, Pottery, to launching a new career (that is something that is personal to you, that you are passionate about and keeps you coming back for more).
It is a plus if you choose a social activity, because research suggests that social engagement is an important to your health as exercise and a healthy diet.
The trick is to find a balance of activities that draw you in and stretch you out. As we grow and keep our brains alive by being engaged with things that challenge us.
The Harvard study reveals the sweet spot is the stuff that’s just outside your reach, where you have to work to concentrate, those are the kinds of challenges that help us feel alive and engaged.
Retirement brings change
Whatever your circumstances, ending your working life changes things—some for the better, others in unexpected or even difficult ways.
If your job was physically draining, unfulfilling, or left you feeling burned out, for example, retiring can feel like a great burden has been lifted. But if you enjoyed your work, found it gratifying, felt value, provided a purpose and built your social life around your career, retirement can present greater challenges.
We notice this more with male clients in executive positions, either business owners, CEOs, chairmen, politicians, sportspeople, or people in power.
Things can be especially tough if you made sacrifices in your personal or family life for the sake of your job, were forced to retire before you felt ready, or have health issues that limit what you’re now able to do.
Similarly, your outlook on life can also influence how well you handle the transition from work to retirement.
If you tend to have a positive, optimistic viewpoint, you’ll likely handle the change better than if you’re prone to worrying or struggle to cope with uncertainty in life.
Don’t Overlook The Psychological Impact Of Retiring
When our Newcastle Financial Planning Advisers are speaking to people who are looking at retiring, like Pat & Anne, we need to ensure we understand your entire picture, including your purpose, how you will feel valued, what your routine will roughly look like.
As we can establish the greatest financial plan in the world, that can provide you with more then enough income than you require, however you still may not be happy and dive into anxiety and depression.
So if there are things our Lake Macquarie financial planners can implement into your financial plan to support your transition, we need to know so we can support.
What super fund, investment, tax structure, and how much Age Pension you will receive, is important.
However, it is only part of the puzzle we support you in piecing together.
Common challenges of retirement include:
Struggling to “switch off” from work mode and relax, especially in the early weeks or months of retirement.
Feeling anxious at having more time on your hands, but less money to spend.
Finding it difficult to fill the extra hours you now have with meaningful activity.
Losing your identity. If you’re no longer a doctor, teacher, CEO, politician, business owner, tradie or sales person, for example, who are you?
Feeling isolated without the social interaction of being around your co-workers.
Experiencing a decline in how useful, important, or self-confident you feel.
Adjusting your routine or maintaining your independence now you’re at home with your spouse during the day.
Some retirees even feel guilty about receiving money from a pension without directly working for it.
Adjusting to Retirement
Embrace Change
Although it’s an inevitable part of life, coping with change is rarely easy.
As we grow older, life can seem to change at an ever-quickening rate. Kids leave home, you lose friends and loved ones, physical and health challenges mount, and retirement looms. It’s normal to respond to these changes with an array of mixed, often conflicting emotions.
But just as you transitioned from childhood into adulthood, you can make the transition from work to retirement.
Find your purpose & meaning
Probably the most important thing you can do to avoid retirement depression is to find a purpose.
For many of us, working is about more than just earning money; it also adds meaning and purpose to our lives. Your job can make you feel needed, productive, and useful, provide goals, or simply give you a reason to get out of the house every day. Having purpose in life also fulfils some biological needs, helping to keep your brain and immune system healthy.
Having a reason for living is critical to your emotional and physical well-being. Beyond feeling happier with purpose, did you know that having purpose is proven to make you healthier? A recent study has found that people who have a sense or purpose or direction in life outlive their peers. In fact, people with a sense of purpose had a 15 percent lower risk of death.
This is probably the hardest step for anyone that is considering retiring.
In our experience, it is highly recommended you seek outside support from a coach, mentor, or even a friend who has recently retired and been through this process.
Manage stress, anxiety and depression
After retirement, the commute, the deadlines, the demanding boss, and the nine-to-five monotony may be over, but that doesn’t mean your life will automatically be stress- and anxiety-free. While workplace stress can take a serious toll on your health, especially if you lack job satisfaction, damaging stressors can also follow you into retirement.
You may worry about managing financially on a fixed income, coping with declining health, or adapting to a different relationship with your spouse now that you’re at home all day.
The loss of identity, routine, and goals can impact your sense of self-worth, leave you feeling rudderless, or even lead to depression.
Pinpoint why you are feeling down:
There are different reasons why you may feel depressed after retiring. For instance, you may not be spending as much time with friends and family as you anticipated, which could cause you to second-guess your retirement plans. And for some retirees, it’s simply the disruption in their daily routine that’s most difficult to adjust to.
Reflect on what’s causing you to feel depressed. It may be one thing or several things. If you’re having trouble figuring it out, try keeping a journal to record your thoughts each day, then look for the trends or patterns that pop up again and again.
Look after your health
Dealing with a major life change like retirement can take a toll on your physical and mental health, weakening your immune system and negatively impacting your mood. In addition to managing stress, finding new purpose, and staying socially and physically active, there are plenty of other ways to keep your body and mind healthy at this time.
Get enough quality sleep
Eat a healthy diet
Watch how much you drink
Keep challenging your brain
Add structure and routine into your day
Identify what you enjoy doing
Many people find rest and relaxation boring and unfulfilling.
If this is you, it is imperative that you get off the couch and find activities that give you purpose, engage you mentally and physically and keep you social.
Recreational activities can sometimes lose their appeal for retirees who suddenly have more hours in the day to fill. Taking time to reconnect with the things you used to enjoy doing could help you break out of a retirement rut.
Find ways to spend your time
n addition to devoting time to hobbies or activities you enjoy that might have fallen by the wayside during your working years, you may use your retirement as an opportunity to branch out a little.
Volunteer with a local charity and give back to the community
Be a mentor for a young person who is starting out in their career
Start a small business
Take education classes online or at the local community college
Join Men’s Shed, Lions Club, Sports Club or other groups
Take up a new hobby (fishing, golf, bowls, making things to sell)
Think about what you need most. Is it making new connections and friendships? Feeling useful? Making some extra money? A little of all three?
Asking those kinds of questions can help you decide which activities to pursue to break out of your post-retirement depression.
Create a new routine
Finding purpose is great, but that can sometimes feel like an overwhelming task.
An easier starting place for fighting retirement depression is simply to create and follow a schedule.
Having a routine can be reassuring because it lends some predictability to your daily round. If you’re struggling with how to spend your time or feeling disoriented without a set schedule to stick to, then work on establishing one.
A helpful way to do that is to track how you’re spending your time now. Keep a daily time log of everything you do from the time you wake up until when you go to bed. Try doing that for a week to see where your time goes, then use that as a guideline for creating a new routine.
You need to get dressed, get out of the house and see people.
Get out your calendar and write down places to go and people to see on a regular basis!
You might consider starting a coffee club where you meet up with friends every day for a cup of something warm and conversation.
Visit the library — set a specific day of the week to find a new book. It is a free resource full of ideas and inspiration.
Take a class in anything at all you are interested in. Your local college may allow for free auditing of classes.
Start a book, cooking or travel club to discuss ideas with friends.
In some ways, it doesn’t really matter what you do, it is just important to do something (anything). Odds are that by doing something, you’ll find a new passion or purpose.
Connect with other retirees and share experiences/feelings
If you’re feeling depressed about retirement, know that you’re not alone. There may be someone in your social circle or someone you know through a professional or recreational organization who’s also having difficulty with making the transition to retirement.
Connecting with those people can help you to support one another as you deal with the mental and emotional challenges retirement can bring. And if you’re having trouble making connections in real life, consider looking for a support group for retirees online. This is also a good option if you’d prefer some anonymity and don’t feel comfortable talking to your friends about post-retirement depression (particularly for men!).
Remind yourself why you retired
People can spend decades planning for the financial side of retirement but they may give very little thought to the emotional aspects.
Think about what your “why” was for retiring in the first place.
Obviously, taking a break from working might have been part of it but what else?
Did you have certain goals in mind or things you wanted to achieve that you weren’t able to pursue in the midst of your career?
Remind yourself of what retirement means to you and ask yourself if those expectations are realistic.
If they are, then figure out what needs to happen next to make your retirement reality align with those expectations.
TAKE FINANCIAL WORRIES OUT OF THE EQUATION by speaking to our Newcastle & Lake Macquarie Financial Planning Advisers
If your finances are a cause of post-retirement depression, consider what you can do to change that.
For example, if you’re worried about your retirement savings running out too quickly, check your budget to see if you can reduce or eliminate any of your expenses. If you haven’t taken social security benefits yet and you are 67 or older, think about when the timing makes sense to claim them.
If you are confused, overwhelmed, or doing this brings on anxiety, seek professional support from our Newcastle & Lake Macquarie Financial Planning Advisers.
As getting rid of money stress could make a huge difference in your overall retirement happiness.
Talk to a professional if you can’t shake those retirement blues.
Depression is a serious thing and it’s not something to take lightly or brush off.
“She’ll be right mate”
“I’m all good”
“Don’t worry about me”
If you’re having trouble pinning down a specific reason for your depression and nothing else you’ve tried seems to help with lifting the cloud, consider talking to your doctor, a counsellor or therapist.
Ensure you choose someone who specialises in working with retirees or older adults to help you get to the root of your depression and create an actionable plan for dealing with it.
*Pat & Anne names have been changed for privacy reasons.
**Sources:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/retirement-stress-taking-it-too-easy-can-be-bad-for-you
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
https://mensline.org.au/mens-mental-health/adjusting-to-retirement/
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/aging-issues/adjusting-to-retirement.htm
https://www.newretirement.com/retirement/retirement-depression/
https://smartasset.com/retirement/retirement-depression
https://www.forbes.com/sites/deborahljacobs/2013/05/10/how-to-beat-the-retirement-blues/?sh=70d423758c54
Whether you are looking for Newcastle Retirement Planning advice or Lake Macquarie Retirement Planning advice, our retirement financial planners are ready to support you in retiring with confidence on your terms. Speak to our Newcastle financial planners or our Lake Macquarie financial planners to learn more.